SO MUCH MORE THAN Trapped in an Elevator
by BD the Pixie
Summary: RATED ONLY BECAUSE I AM SCARY AND I HAVE ADDED LANGUAGE - just to be safe. RaNdOmNeSs!
1. Trapped in an elevator

~hi there, my loyal fans!! This, in case you didn't notice... is the DISCLAIMER... I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho... (if I did, I would be the RULER of the WORLD..) Alas I don't... sooo.. Roses are Red Violets are Blue I no own, so you no sue!! (I forget where I heard this... and if u wrote it down (I likely stole it.. Gomen) then tell me and I'll give u credit too... gee arent I nice? ON WITH THE FIC!!  
  
  
  
~some how... some way... the all-knowing and some-telling Black Dragon has "trapped" Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara in an ELEVATOR. Thank You~  
  
"Which floor?" Kuwabara  
  
"Idiot. Top floor. TOP. Its not THAT hard, even for a moron like you." Hiei  
  
"Yea, hurry up!" Yusuke  
  
Yusuke pushes the top floor button himself, Kuwabara takes too long... the top floor's number "just so happens to be" (hee hee... im evil) number 100... (can u think of a better number?!) It also "just so happens" that they are only on floor number... you guessed it... one.  
  
"HURRY UUUUP!!! STUPID ELEVATOR!!" Kuwabara  
  
"Moron! The door hasn't even had time to CLOSE and you're complaining already!!" Yusuke  
  
"Well lets not make this any more painful than it must be..." Kurama looked at Hiei... Hiei glares at him with his "shut up and stop staring at me" look (well in case you didn't know, he has a look called the "shut up and stop staring at me" look... thought that was important to know...)  
  
And so, the elevator climbs.... and promptly stops again... on floor two.  
  
"Aww!! How ADORABLE is he?! Is he your little brother?" some woman asks as she steps on... she then made the mistake of her life, she pinches Hiei's cheek  
  
The Tantei proceed to run desperately out of the elevator, and into a new one (how convenient... TWO elevators) so as to not draw any more attention (if that is possible... the little old lady on fire seems to do the job in itself)  
  
"WHERE are we going?" Kuwabara  
  
"I don't know... Hiei wants to go to the top..... Kurama replies  
  
Hiei chooses to ignore this, and for their own sake the rest kept their mouths shut, except for that IDIOT who always has SOMETHING to say...  
  
"So where we goin, shrimp?" Kuwabara  
  
The Tantei proceed to run desperately out of the elevator, and into a new one (how convenient, the flaming woman has been removed) as to not draw any more attention (if that is possible... Kuwabara on fire seems to do the job in itself)  
  
"Peace and quiet...." Kurama admits  
  
"Hn." Hiei agrees  
  
"Well, back to square one..." Yusuke  
  
Yusuke pushes the button AGAIN...  
  
And the elevator proceeds its tedious climb... and promptly stops again at floor number three  
  
Yusuke punches the wall... and the doors open  
  
"Hello my good sirs." the old fat guy says  
  
The Tantei members stare at each other, silently in agreement that this man's voice and choice of words were too proper and english-y and quite annoying but do not say anything, they are still enjoying their newfound silence away from Kuwabara  
  
"I'm off at one..." the fat guy says  
  
Hiei's temper flared, Kurama puts a hand on his shoulder and tries (good lord, does he ever try) to calm Hiei down...  
  
And so the elevator makes its tedious descent...  
  
"Back to square one...." Yusuke tries (good lord, does he ever) to suppress his anger...  
  
As the fat guy emigrates, Yusuke proceeds to take out his blind fury on the wall of the elevator  
  
and so the elevator once again makes its tedious ascent  
  
and it promptly stops again at floor number four  
  
"Hello. Floor number ninety eight please thank you you're so nice I can't believe how nice you are I like nice people do you like nice people the not nice people make me sad but I like being happy so I don't like being sad being sad isn't very good for you so I like being happy nice to meet you by the way." some girl says in a fraction of a second  
  
Hiei promptly receives a headache....  
  
"So how you guys doin I like this place do you like this place I think this place is so great it just has so much stuff to do but the elevator is fun too don't you think I think so don't you think so well I do so I don't care what other people think so I guess I can't be a hypocrite then don't you hate hypocrites I do and I think they're bad I think everyone should be an anti-hypocrite don't you gee this wall is dent-y..." she proceeds to busy herself with examining the wall that Yusuke is now quite happy that he dented  
  
Kurama promptly receives a headache  
  
"So how did this wall get dented do you think I think it was a kid yea some punk kid must've done it don't you think so I think they should be punished they don't really need to be punished if they did it a long time ago though cause one time I saw on TV that this guy murdered someone when he was really young like sixteen and then when he was eighty they put him in jail for life don't you think that's weird cause he doesn't have too much life left anyways so I guess the jokes on them this time what do you think?" she stared wide-eyed at Kurama, who backed away slightly  
  
Yusuke promptly received a headache  
  
"Uhh.. Sure..." Kurama tentatively answered her  
  
(Note.. This is about the time we reach floor six... and the elevator promptly stops)  
  
Hiei lifts the girl into the air and throws her far, far away from himself, she promptly catches flame as she is being tossed into the air... the people who were GOING to get on decided otherwise and walked away, blaming insanity  
  
"THANK YOU!" Yusuke  
  
"Thanks I guess... you didn't have to be so harsh, though..." Kurama is worried about being arrested...  
  
And so the elevator begins its.... descent? Yes, someone down below them has pushed the button. Hiei smiles contentedly to himself.  
  
"What are you SMILING for?! We could be headed ALL THE WAY back to ONE!!" Yusuke  
  
"No one will be there. And it was the basement, actually. I set them on fire." Hiei  
  
and so they reach the basement....  
  
"Don't you guys think we can just take the stairs?" Kurama tries (good lord, does he ever try) to be logical  
  
"I know im not walking all that way." Yusuke sits down  
  
"Hn. Yusuke, maybe Kurama is right. We've climbed stairs before. Remember Maze Castle?" Hiei  
  
(This is the part where the all-knowing and some-telling Black Dragon forces the idea out of their minds... because the all-knowing and some- telling Black Dragon is the ruler of the world!! BOW TO ME!!)  
  
And so, the elevator proceeds upon its tedious yet noble task... taking the Tantei to the top floor "whoa... look Kurama! We're at 7 and nothing bad happened!!" Yusuke looks surprised... (wow.. I hope im not corrupting him into a celebration when elevators get to floor 7...)  
  
"WHOA! Look now, guys!! We're at 8!!" Yusuke looks MORE surprised (sweat drop)  
  
"Hn. Try not to be overexcited. You look like an idiot." Hiei says  
  
Yusuke does not celebrate at floor 8... the elevator never reached it. Someone has pushed the button... back down there someplace...  
  
The elevator stops promptly at floor number... two.  
  
And the doors open, revealing... a charred-black yet still-somewhat- recognizable Kuwabara is standing there  
  
He promptly catches flame as Hiei pushes the "door close" button  
  
and so, the elevator begins its slow ascent...  
  
And promptly stops at floor number nine... (note, Yusuke had no celebrations)  
  
"Inspection, people. This won't take long..." the inspector-guy opens up the hatch with all the buttons... and looks at it a little.. And as he begins to close it...  
  
... he promptly catches fire.... and is thrown out of the elevator and doors close  
  
"HIEI?! Why did you do THAT?!" Yusuke  
  
"I had an idea." Hiei  
  
Hiei promptly looks over at the many many wires inside the box. He quickly notices HOW the wires interact with each of the buttons.... and precedes to rip out all the wires except for number (you guessed it) 100.  
  
"Hiei, you do realize that other people on floors can push the buttons to bring us back? This only stops them from going anywhere but the top once their IN..." Kurama has seen the flaw... which really isn't a flaw (Black Dragon loves Hiei too much for him to have a flaw...)  
  
"Yes, but Kurama, you know how ningens are. It'll only take one for the whole building to know that this elevator can only take you to the top. Therefore, we will get to the top, along with whoever else wants to go there." Hiei casually explains his genius plan  
  
and so the elevator continues to sit there... as Hiei proceeds to rip out wires...  
  
"Matte... Kurama? What's stopping people from pushing a button and pulling us down there and then figuring out that we're messing with the wires and stuff?" Yusuke  
  
"Well the elevator probably has a backup system so it won't go anywhere until its all closed up, so that in an emergency they can work without accidently killing people." Kurama explains again (he does so much explaining... poor guy)  
  
eventually.....  
  
Hiei finishes and....  
  
Once again, the elevator begins its ascent...  
  
But it turns around... someone has pushed the button...  
  
"Oh... why doesn't this work?" She asks them  
  
"None do, only 100." Hiei tells her quickly in a then-hurry-up-and-leave tone  
  
"Oh....." the woman gets off... Hiei sets a small spark aflame in her hair, just for laughs  
  
And so, the elevator continues its ascent...  
  
And it goes up, up, up, up.....  
  
SNAP...  
  
Kurama gasps... and reaches for the emergency button... and the elevator screeches to a halt... (the emergency brake... phew! And to think im putting our heroes in danger!!)  
  
"Well this is just great. Where are we?" Yusuke  
  
"Floor 94." Kurama answers.  
  
"Really? We made it THAT far?" Yusuke "Of course. But we stopped." Hiei  
  
Kurama pushes the "door open" button... the wires have been cut there....  
  
Hiei receives cold stares.  
  
"Well I didn't think we'd NEED it." Hiei  
  
"Well WHY did you cut it ANYWAY?!" Yusuke  
  
"Because I thought that this elevator might some day have an emergency... and it would be better not to have the emergency button. Life is funner that way." Hiei (you know Hiei would never say this... I just like it)  
  
"So now what? We're stuck up here in this elevator... no "door open"... no food, no water, and more importantly, nothing to DO!!" Yusuke  
  
Kurama thinks... and smiles to himself, proud of his good ideas.  
  
He pulls out his Rose Whip and cuts a hole in the door, and they promptly escape.  
  
And so, they walk up the stairs until floor number ninety nine, where the stairs have somehow collapsed.  
  
So they take the elevator. (Remember the other one? Well its still there...)  
  
The elevator begins its ascent... aaand....  
  
Someone has pushed a button. Someone WAAAY down there. Hiei suspects floor one. Yes, definitely floor one.... he skillfully pushes the "door open" and it does... (wow I think thats called good luck folks) and they escape again.  
  
To another flight of stairs. (Wow, how convenient. There's TWO.)  
  
Aaaaaaand.... they open the door to floor number one-hundred.  
  
"So what does Hiei want here?" Yusuke asks Kurama  
  
"I'm not sure..." Kurama  
  
Hiei walks straight up to a small table in the center of the large room. On the table, there is a small box. Hiei opens this box.......  
  
........... and removes one doughnut......... and eats it.  
  
And so they return to the elevator... which begins its tedious trip down again....  
  
(TO BE CONTINUED) 


	2. Let's go to Sea World!

MUAHAHA! I rule the world!! Back by popular demand (actually, its cause im obsessed with Hiei.) is HIEI! And the rest of the Reikai Tantei! Excluding Kuwabara, cause do due to my evil-ness. I let Hiei fry him to a crisp! Yaay! Now then, on with the fic!!  
  
Oh yea, almost forgot. DISCLAIMERS. I don't own YYH. (I wish I did.. But I don't) . if you sue me all it will prove is (a) you have no life and (b) you're an idiot, cause im broke anyhow... blah blah blah! On with the fic!!  
  
Quotation marks are getting on my nerves, so for a little change of pace, I got rid of them. Enjoy! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hiei - (thinking) all this way for one doughnut? I mean, doughnuts are good and everything, but wheres all the REALLY good stuff?  
  
Kurama - Hiei? Is- is that what you wanted?  
  
Yusuke - A DOUGHNUT?!?! (runs forward to "beat up" Hiei.)  
  
Hiei - (hits Yusuke)  
  
Yusuke - (falls on floor)  
  
Kurama - Hiei? WHY did we just do that? That was incredibly.. Idiotic.  
  
Hiei - shut up, fox. You think I wanted that to happen? What I want to know is. who took the good stuff?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (look at me! Im in this fic!!) he he. (holds up sack labeled "Hiei's favorite things")  
  
Yusuke - whats that?  
  
Kurama - just like it says. Hiei's favorite things.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (reaches into bag) here ya go, Hiei! All yours! (oh-so- kindly throws Hiei a pudding cup thingy)  
  
Hiei - and this is all? (Hiei is getting slightly greedy. he can smell what's in the bag)  
  
~Black Dragon~ *sigh* here you go. (pulls out large tub (or barrel, rather) of something, it is labeled ICE CREAM in huge letters)  
  
Hiei - (grabs spoon, which I also oh-so-generously gave him)  
  
And Hiei is eating his pudding and ice cream. I watch happily, because I enjoy myself when Hiei is happy (little hearts in eyes)  
  
Yusuke - and you are?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - Oh. Yes. I'm ~Black Dragon~, nice to meet you, Yusuke. Kurama.  
  
Kurama - (smiles politely) so how did you know about us?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - Dur! Im the author, remember?! I have to know who you guys are, or else it ruins the whole thing. Ok?  
  
Yusuke - ok, another question. Why did you just oh-so-generously give Hiei all that stuff? (Hiei eating away merrily in background)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - BECAUSE I SAID SO! No more idiotic questions. Your pathetic intellect astounds me to no end. Feh. Humans.  
  
Yusuke - ?!  
  
Kurama - (laughs, he understands my big words.)  
  
Hiei puts down his spoon for a fraction of a second to laugh at my comment.  
  
Yusuke - what does that mean?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what part?  
  
Yusuke - uhh. all of it.?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (falls over)  
  
Kurama - she said. uhh.  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ simultaneously - she/I said you were an idiot, stupid.  
  
Yusuke - hey!  
  
Kurama - and now what?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - don't rush him! Let Hiei finish his food!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(twelve hours later. my endless supply of Hiei's favorite foods is. endless)  
  
Hiei - ok. Done now.  
  
Yusuke - ABOUT TIME!!!  
  
Kurama - and now what?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - well, since we're oh-so-conveniently 5 minutes away from the nearest airport, and I oh-so-conveniently have 4 airline tickets to wherever we wanna go to, lets go!!  
  
Yusuke - do I want to ask.?  
  
Kurama - no.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - Where do you want to go? (directed at Hiei, of course)  
  
Hiei - what do you want me to choose for? I don't know.  
  
Yusuke - lets go to Disney World!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ Hiei and Kurama simultaneously - been done.  
  
Yusuke - well. I haven't seen a Sea World fic yet.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what the.? Did I miss something? Why does Yusuke want to go to Sea World?  
  
Yusuke - oh. no reason. i. uh.  
  
Kurama - .. Yusuke likes dolphins.  
  
Yusuke - shut up! I do not!!  
  
Kurama - do to  
  
Yusuke - no I don't!! shut up!!!  
  
Kurama - has anyone here seen the dolphin posters in Yusuke's room?  
  
Hiei - yes. He likes dolphins.  
  
Yusuke - SHUT UP TINY!!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (throws rock at Yusuke. I can do that) DON'T SAY THAT EVER AGAIN!! We'll go to Sea World, if Yusuke likes dolphins so much.  
  
Yusuke - but I DON'T LIKE DOLPHINS!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - lest you forget, IM WRITING THIS FIC.  
  
Yusuke - oh.  
  
Kurama - Sea World, then?  
  
Hiei - what is "Sea World?"  
  
Kurama, Yusuke, and ~Black Dragon~ simultaneously - (sweatdrop)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Five minutes later. At the airport.  
  
Hiei - where now?  
  
Kurama - this way. Its gate Z-four thousand. What?! That can't be right.?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - haven't you ever seen a giant airport before? Its right. I've had worse.  
  
Yusuke - well how do we walk all the way down there before our flight leaves?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (points to the all-too-conspicuous subway thingy right next to them)  
  
Yusuke - oh  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
on the all-too-conspicuous subway thingy  
  
Hiei - (glaring angrily at everyone. He hates crowds. But if you didn't know that, then you shouldn't be reading this fic. You should not be alive.)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (notices that Hiei is uncomfortable) Hiei? Want me to take care of it?  
  
Hiei - (nods)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (pulls the magically-appearing stop thingy. subway thingy stops) EVERYBODY OFF!!!!!  
  
Passengers - grumble, grumble (get off)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I don't know. was that funny? Good god, am I losing my touch?! GEEZ! I used to be able to write these things REALLY good, wheres all my talent going?! AHH!! (back to reality.)  
  
yes, I KNOW it has nothing to do with elevators, the first one was that one. Don't be stupid. Yes, I KNOW that I am strange. Yes, I KNOW that Yusuke isn't really THAT stupid, but I left Kuwabara's charred remains behind, what do you want from me people!?  
  
(NOTE. Hiei is mine. If you review this saying he's yours, I can just throw many, many rocks, because I can do that)  
  
yes, cliffhanger ending, I KNOW.. I just didn't feel like typing any more. Maybe I'll add more in a few hours.. When I feel like it.  
  
Read and Review, and any tips are appreciated. Thanx! If you want to be IN the fic, ask me and I'll see what I can do, but I wont promise anything. and I might do some torturing to your character. insults, fire, pain. you get it. Just review me and tell me what ya think. That's what the review button is for. Don't be stupid. Thank you.  
  
(runs away. gone to find Hiei. be back later) 


	3. Irish pirates, seals, and Dolphin Luver'...

YAY! MORE CHAPTERS! Thanks to my ADORING FANS... I think I'll give this insane fic a little bit more to work with. hope you like! Disclaimer - I own no Yu Yu Hakusho characters. (pouts) Hiei - cheer up. Me - HIEI!! (hugs Hiei) ONE MORE DISCLAIMER. don't send fanmail saying that Hiei is yours. he's not. Arigato! On with the fic!!  
  
Hiei - (happy again)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (also happy)  
  
Kurama and Yusuke and ~Black Dragon~ and Hiei arrive at gate four thousand. YAY.  
  
Weird looking attendant lady - flight 1234 to Sea World, now boarding!  
  
Kurama - odd number.  
  
And we board the plane. CAUSE I SAID SO.  
  
ON THE PLANE.  
  
Hiei - I hate crowds.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - EVERYBODY OFF!  
  
Everybody - (gets off)  
  
Yusuke - (getting off)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - YUSUKE! NOT YOU!! BAKA!!  
  
Yusuke - oh..  
  
(and so, as we fly to Sea World.)  
  
Hiei - what is Sea World?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - theres lots of water animals there. people look at them and take pictures.  
  
Hiei - I don't get it.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - no one does.  
  
Hiei - ok then.  
  
AND SO, THE FLIGHT IS OVER.  
  
Attendant lady - we're here!!  
  
Hiei - she's a little too cheery.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - SHUT UP WITH THE CHEERINESS!  
  
Attendant lady - (shuts up with the cheeriness)  
  
AND SO, WE ARRIVE AT SEA WORLD.  
  
Yusuke - (runs to dolphin tank) ooh! Dolphins!!  
  
Kurama - Yusuke likes dolphins.  
  
Hiei - (laughs)  
  
Some scary old lady - you like dolphins, lad? (I guess its an Irish lady)  
  
Yusuke - (absent minded nod)  
  
Some scary old IRISH lady - there's a club you can join if you really like the dolphins.  
  
Yusuke - really?!  
  
Scary old Irish lady - aye! (I guess she's also a pirate)  
  
Kurama - ?  
  
Yusuke - (is running madly toward small building)  
  
On this building. it says. "Dolphin Luver's Club"  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (slaps forehead)  
  
Kurama - I TOLD you he likes dolphins.  
  
Hiei - no one ever disagreed.  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and ~Black Dragon~ - (laughing)  
  
Yusuke - (comes back with dolphin hat and other dolphin accessories)  
  
Kurama - (muffles laughing)  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - (laughing, unrestrained and pointing at Yusuke in all his horrible humiliation)  
  
Yusuke - shut up!!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - hey, it isn't my fault you like dolphins.  
  
Yusuke - so?! I mean.. SHUT UP!  
  
Hiei - (still laughing)  
  
Kurama - (gives in and laughs also)  
  
Kurama, Hiei, and ~Black Dragon~ - (are laughing at Yusuke)  
  
(laugh for long, long time. YOU! READER! YEA, YOU! LAUGH I SAY!! LAUGH AT YUSUKE'S LOVE OF DOLPHINS!!!!!)  
  
(laugh for awhile.)  
  
Some old Irish pirate lady - let's go see the seals.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - where did you come from, creepy old Irish pirate lady?  
  
Some old CREEPY Irish pirate lady - over there.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - .oh  
  
Yusuke - okaaaay. (reluctantly goes to visit seals)  
  
Yusuke - STUPID SEALS!! DIE!! (throws a plastic seal at the real seals)  
  
Blind fat old seal (you know EVERY Sea World has a blind, fat, old seal?) - ork ork, (or whatever sound seals make)  
  
Yusuke - FEEL THE WRATH OF THE DOLPHIN!! (makes dolphin noise) (throws cup of water on seal)  
  
Blind old fat seal - ork ork!!  
  
Kurama - uhh.  
  
Kurama, Hiei, and ~Black Dragon~ - (walk away. we don't know him.)  
  
FOURTEEN HOURS, FOUR MINUTES, AND FIVE SECONDS LATER.  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and ~Black Dragon~ - (have found an ice cream vendor and are eating sweet snow together. YUMMY!)  
  
Yusuke - (walks up. kinda wet)  
  
Kurama - . do I want to know.?  
  
Yusuke - I went swimming with the dolphin.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - aaaand?  
  
Yusuke - IT WAS GREAT!! (runs in circles and makes dolphin noises)  
  
Hiei - .?  
  
Yusuke - (stops) until. (pauses) . until I found out that dolphins bite. (turns around, large chunk taken out of Yusuke's rear-end in the shape of a bite mark)  
  
Hiei - idiot. That's called a shark.  
  
Yusuke - oooh. (runs off to find dolphins)  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and ~Black Dragon~ - (resume eating sweet snow. YUM!!)  
  
SEVEN HOURS LATER.  
  
Yusuke - (walks up. soaking wet)  
  
Kurama - . did you find the dolphins Yusuke..?  
  
Yusuke - (pauses)  
  
Hiei - .?  
  
Yusuke - (pauses)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - .?  
  
Kurama - ...?  
  
Hiei - WHAT ALREADY?!?! (you must answer all of Hiei's inquiries.. Or else FEEL THE WRATH OF ME!! MUAHAHA! Ahem. err. I'm ok.)  
  
Yusuke - I FOUND THE DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (running insanely in circles and jumping up and down, making idiotic dolphin squeaky noises)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (gets out strait-jacket. and puts Yusuke in it)  
  
Hiei - what now?  
  
Kurama - we leave. (watches as people stare)  
  
Old fat blind seal - ork ork!!  
  
Yusuke - DIE SEAL! FEEL MY DOLPHINEY WRATH!!!!!  
  
Kurama - (walks quickly towards exit)  
  
Hiei - (follows)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (follows also, dragging Yusuke)  
  
Yusuke - FEEL MY WRATH SEAL!!!! (makes dolphiney noises)  
  
Some creepy old Irish pirate lady - aye, you shalt be comin' back this-a- ways sometimes soon?  
  
Kurama - iie.  
  
Some creepy old Irish pirate lady - aye?  
  
Hiei - no!!!!!!!!!!! (woman bursts into flames)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - YAY!!! (pulls out marshmallows)  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and ~Black Dragon~ - (are eating roasted marshmallows)  
  
Yusuke - SEALS!! DIE SEALS! DIEEEE! FEEL THE DOLPHINEY WRATH I SHALL INFLICT UPON YOUR VERY SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and ~Black Dragon~ - (leave. ~Black Dragon~ drags Yusuke along, in case we need someone to light, if we want marshmallows)  
  
YAY! What did you think? Did I make fun of Yusuke's stupidity enough? (voice from ceiling) - yes. REALLY?! YAAAAAAAAAY! (voice in ceiling) - sure. Old, fat, blind seal - ork ork! Yusuke - DIE SEAL! ..?  
  
SOOO. send me lots and lots of reviews ppl!! Thanks to all the ppls that sended me multiple reviews... And I forgot your names (I'm sorry. my okkaa says I need to get off the internet. I can't check.) but hey, thanks a bunch!! Especially to Sailor Kitsune (gomen, I didn't mean to get that wrong if I did) who gave me the "Dolphin Luver's Club" idea. YAY!  
  
SO WHAT NOW? Its all up to you. SEND ME LOTS OF REVIEWS!! AND SWEET SNOW! AND PUDDING! AND. (lists much things she wants)  
  
Flames and Torches to you all, ~Black Dragon~ 


	4. We Leave Yusuke and Kuwabara far, far be...

CHAPTER FOUR! I know, this fic is idiotic. But its MINE, not yours. GET OVER IT! Disclaimer. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. (cries) but hey, I can borrow 'em right? YAY!! ON WITH THE INSANITY!!!!  
  
AT THE MENTAL INSTITUTION.  
  
Clerk woman - can I help you?  
  
Kurama - hai. we have a little problem with him. (points at Yusuke)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I think we need you to take him. or whatever it is you do.  
  
Clerk lady - well take him in. just leave him.  
  
Kurama - you mean. we just leave him?  
  
Clerk lady - that's what I said.  
  
Yusuke - (in strait jacket) DOLPHINS! I NEED DOLPHINS!!  
  
Hiei - hurry up. get him away from me.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - HURRY UP!!  
  
They walk into some big room where ppls are mostly in strait jackets. and others are playing games like in an old folks home. checkers and cards and stuff..  
  
Yusuke - DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kuwabara - (slightly charred) fire. fire.. Fire.. NOOOOOOOO!  
  
Yusuke - Kuwabara???  
  
Kuwabara - Yusuke?!  
  
Yusuke - DOLPHINS!  
  
Kuwabara - KITTY!! FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - im leaving now.  
  
(~Black Dragon~ and Hiei and Kurama leave the institution)  
  
Kurama - what do you want to do now?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - who wants to go see a movie or something?  
  
Kurama - fine by me.  
  
Hiei - depends on the movie.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - well lets go see what's playing. Its not like we have anything better to do.  
  
Hiei - Hn.  
  
(the three head to the movies)  
  
END CHAPTER. Okay okay! I know it's short!!! Don't hurt me!! I just don't know what movie to send them to. THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN! Send me a review and give me suggestions. If I like it I'll use it. If not then I can assume that you hate me and I wont continue the fic anymore. So there.  
  
Flames and Torches to you all, ~Black Dragon~  
  
(the increasing need for water has arisen. and in order to take your money, I raise the price of water to $15. if you want a bucket that's an extra $20. you have to return my bucket.) 


	5. Movies, Things that We Like, and Kurama'...

Guess what everybody? Im updating! (imaginary voice) yaaay. SOUND THRILLED!! (imaginary voice) YAY!! Better. Now. arigato, all my adoring fans! I'm just gonna use whatever movie I want. hey it's my fic. But thanx for the suggestions. I'll think about it. DISCLAIMER. I don't feel like saying it. Someone, say it. (crickets chirping) fine. I'll say it. I own nothing. (cries). But someday I will!!! For now. on with chapter five!  
  
Kurama - which movie you guys want to see?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what's playing?  
  
Kurama - we have.. (A/N: these are what were suggested, but most of them I added just because I say so.) The Ring How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Darkness Falls Lord Of the Rings (both) Austin Powers in Goldmember A Jackie Chan movie (any movie. who cares?) Signs Panic Room (blah blah blah. Kurama lists out the movies)  
  
Hiei - I've never heard of them.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - well. do we want to see something scary.? Or something funny? Or what?  
  
Kurama - I don't care. (there he goes again. never thinking of himself first. It's annoying. He'd better stop before I hurt him.)  
  
Hiei - let's see a scary one.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - good. I was going to see a scary one no matter what either of you said anyway.  
  
Kurama - o_o;;  
  
Hiei - which ones are scary?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - lets see now.. The Ring, Darkness Falls, and Panic Room I guess. sorta.  
  
Kurama - well at least we narrowed it down.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - let's vote on it! I say Darkness Falls. just because it's newer, therefore much, much cooler.  
  
Kurama - (gives her a look. a look kinda like a What-the-heck-are-you- talking-about? Look) (A/N: yes, I know. bad words DO sound better there. but I shall keep my G rating!! [determined] so there!!)  
  
Hiei - then I'll vote Darkness Falls as well.  
  
Kurama - okay then, I guess it's settled!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what WERE you going to say, Kurama?  
  
Kurama - The Ring. but forget it.  
  
Hiei - okay.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - not a problem.  
  
Kurama - (sighs. for he is the only polite person left in the world. poor him)  
  
Ticket Seller Person - hi! Can I help you?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - dur! Why else would we be here?!  
  
T.S.P. - uhh. okay.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - we want three for Darkness Falls, when's the next showing?  
  
T.S.P. - in... (checks watch) fifteen minutes.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - we'll take it!  
  
T.S.P. - uhh. it's rated R.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - so?  
  
T.S.P. - (points at Hiei)  
  
Kurama - he's old enough to see an R rated movie!  
  
T.S.P. - I'll have to ask my manager. (is about to walk away. UNTIL.)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (unsheathes her katana. puts it to the T.S.P.'s throat) you let us into this movie or else we give you the same treatment we gave Some Creepy Old Irish Lady. got that?  
  
Hiei - (also has his katana to her throat) say one word, and we'll make it worse.  
  
T.S.P. - okay okay! Just don't hurt me!!  
  
Kurama - let's go guys. (worries about the police a little)  
  
~Black Dragon~ and Hiei - (sheathe their katanas and prepare to see a movie)  
  
Kurama - (sighs) (pulls out a rose and makes everything smell all pretty)  
  
T.S.P. - who are you.? Did you pay yet?  
  
Kurama - (holds up his ticket and walks away fast-ly)  
  
Meanwhile. did anyone notice that Kurama left Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ to their own devices. for roughly fourteen seconds? Well. this is what happens.  
  
Popcorn Seller Person - don't hurt me!!!  
  
Crowd Of People - aaah! They have swords! Save us!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - we do NOT want a kiddie size.  
  
Hiei - say one word to anyone about this and I make sure you DIE to regret it.  
  
Kurama - HIEI!! ~BLACK DRAGON!!~ STOP DOING THAT!!!  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - (sheathe their katanas) (look disappointed)  
  
Kurama - (pulls own his rose. AGAIN. and makes everything smell all pretty.. AGAIN.)  
  
Crowd Of People - (look dazed and stupefied)  
  
P.S.P. - Can I help you?  
  
Kurama - large popcorn, please.  
  
P.S.P. - $4.50.  
  
Kurama - (forks over the cash)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (snatches handful of popcorn) arigato, Kurama! (munchies on the popcorn)  
  
Hiei - what IS this stuff?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - it's popcorn... here! (hands Hiei some popcorn)  
  
Hiei - (stares at the popcorn)  
  
Kurama - just eat it, Hiei. It's pretty good.  
  
Hiei - (eats a piece of popcorn) (nods in approval)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (smiles happily. for if Hiei is happy.. ~Black Dragon~ is happy)  
  
Kurama - let's find a seat, or else we won't get one.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - where should we sit?  
  
Hiei - (scans the theatre) where's the best spot? You people are the ones who've actually seen a movie before, not me.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - let's sit in the back.  
  
Kurama - how about right in the middle?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - back!  
  
Kurama - middle..  
  
~Black Dragon~ - BACK!  
  
Kurama - ... okay!! Back!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (runs off to sit in the back)  
  
Hiei - (laughs a little at ~Black Dragon~'s antics)  
  
Kurama - (sigh) (sits down)  
  
Hiei - (sits between Kurama and ~Black Dragon~)  
  
As we wait for the movie. Hiei notices that the theatre is relatively empty.  
  
Hiei - why are we the only ones in here?  
  
Kurama - usually a larger crowd will come in right before the movie starts. We have a few minutes to wait.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - hai, plus this movie's been out for a few days now. So naturally everyone who has no life has already seen it. And you'd be surprised at how many people who have no lives!  
  
Hiei - why, are they dead?  
  
(A/N: please excuse me... I must take a moment to AWWW at Hiei's not- knowingness. awwwwwwwww! How cute!! Okay im done)  
  
Kurama - (sigh) iie. it's a figure of speech.  
  
Hiei - meaning..?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - that they have nothing better to do besides go see movies on the very day they come out.  
  
Hiei - ningens are strange.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I agree entirely.  
  
Kurama - well THAT explains a lot.  
  
(dramatic music. the movie starts)  
  
Suddenly a crowd of thirty two people rushes in. slightly dazed and stupefied. and all file into seats. No one sits near Hiei or ~Black Dragon~. Kurama is slightly thankful; they have scared off some disappointed looking girls. and boys.  
  
The theatre gets all dark-like.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - shut up everybody! The movie's starting!  
  
Crowd - (if they were talking. they aren't anymore)  
  
And so in relative silence. they watch Darkness Falls. until "the running commentary" decides to do her thing.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - NO! DON'T PUT HIM IN THE DARK!!  
  
Later.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - YOU FOOL!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!  
  
And then a scary part.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (bursts into hysterical laughter) what HORRIBLE special effects! That thing is SO PLASTIC!!  
  
The credits eventually scroll down the screen.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - that was horrible. The special effects sucked. That thing was PLASTIC! And that kid was a HORRIBLE actor. That movie sucks.  
  
Kurama - . sure.  
  
Hiei - (silence)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - well, Hiei? What did you think?  
  
Hiei - ... (more silence)  
  
Kurama - ?  
  
Hiei - .. that sucked. That thing was plastic. and that kid was horrible. He didn't look scared at all.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (pats Hiei on the back) good job!!  
  
Kurama - (sweat drops)  
  
As we exit the theatre.  
  
Small Children - (crying) okkaa!!! Its DARK!!! IM SCARED!!!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (bursts into laughter)  
  
Kurama - (gives her a keep-your-big-mouth-shut look)  
  
Hiei - (snickers)  
  
Kurama - (gives Hiei a look just like ~Black Dragon~'s)  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - (ignore Kurama and laugh)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I have an idea! Let's all go hang out at Kurama's.  
  
Hiei - fine by me.  
  
Kurama - (sweat drops)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what are you waiting for, Kurama! Let's go to your house and play video games!  
  
Kurama - ... (heavy sigh)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what's the matter? Is Shiori at home?  
  
Kurama - . iie, she's out for the weekend, actually.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - all the better, then! We can stay up late and eat ice cream! (pulls out bag labeled "things that ~Black Dragon~ likes" and eats)  
  
Hiei - where did you get that?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (points to "reviews" pile of zillions of reviews)  
  
Hiei - oh.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - here! (hands him "things that Hiei likes)  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - (walking to Kurama's house with things that they like)  
  
Kurama - (has nothing)  
  
And so we arrive at Kurama's house.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what game do you guys want to play?  
  
Kurama - we have plenty. I don't care.  
  
Hiei - (looks through stacks of video games) geez Kurama. what do you do to get all this stuff from Shiori?  
  
Kurama - good grades.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - who cares how you got them. (although she looks jealous) the point is that we're gonna play them!  
  
Kurama - (sighs again) I'll go get the ice cream then.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - that's the spirit!! Think sugar!!  
  
Hiei - mmmm. sweet snow.  
  
Kurama goes into the kitchen and comes back with three bowls filled with ice cream.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I'm SO killing you!!  
  
Hiei - yeah right!! I'm beating you worse than I was beating up Kuwabara!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - ooh. low blow.  
  
Hiei - ha! I almost got you!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - in your dreams!!!  
  
Kurama witnesses the game as an innocent by-stander. Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ are murdering each other's characters on "James Bond."  
  
Kurama - why are you playing "slappers only?"  
  
~Black Dragon~ - we figured we'd just have a quick game with no weapons while we waited for the sweet snow.  
  
Kurama - . I see.  
  
Hiei - ha! I win!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (hits "reset")  
  
Hiei - what did you do that for?!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - whoops.. (faked innocence)  
  
Kurama - (yay! He's getting into the spirit!) look out now, you two. I'll kill you both!  
  
~Black Dragon~ and Hiei simultaneously - dream on!!  
  
Five Minutes later.  
  
Kurama - how should I set this?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - go to "characters." no!! "characters!!"  
  
Kurama - okay okay! (moves his little cursor thingy to "characters")  
  
~Black Dragon~ - ha! I'm Travelyan!! (presses A)  
  
Hiei - iie! I want to be Travelyan.. Take it off!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - you'll have to play me for him.  
  
Kurama - what's the big deal?  
  
Hiei - haven't you ever PLAYED this game?! Travelyan's the best character in the whole game!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - yeah! He's the traitor who tries to kill Bond!  
  
Kurama - O_o  
  
Hiei - I'll be Bond then. at least I'm the one who killed you.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - not anymore. Travelyan's alive and kickin'!!  
  
Hiei - not for long!  
  
Kurama - who should I be then?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (evil grin) you have to be Natalya until you beat someone.  
  
Kurama - why?!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - new rule. Since we didn't start yet, I can do that.  
  
Kurama - (sighs) how do I get to be a different character?  
  
Hiei - pay attention, kitsune! On the off chance you'll beat one of us, you get our character.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - that's right.  
  
Kurama - okaaay. (chooses Natalya)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - now. go to weapons.  
  
Kurama - let's play Golden Gun, ok?  
  
Hiei - that's stupid. Let's play-  
  
~Black Dragon~ and Hiei - proximity mines!!!!!  
  
Kurama - oh no.  
  
Hiei - hai!!  
  
Kurama - fine already!! (chooses "Proximity mines") now, what level?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - Grid!! My favorite!  
  
Hiei - that's in Perfect Dark.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - oh yeah.  
  
Hiei - (nods) we'll just have to overlook it and play-  
  
~Black Dragon~ and Hiei - COMPLEX!!!  
  
Kurama - oh no.  
  
Hiei - hai!!!  
  
Kurama - okaaaay!!! (chooses "complex")  
  
Hiei - now, as usual. ten times til you win.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - that's right. everyone ready? GO!!  
  
Five minutes later.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (laughing insanely) ha ha ha ha ha!! You'll never break through!!! (has locked self in a small room with proximity mines. has a KF7 Soviet)  
  
Hiei - you stole my favorite gun! PAY!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - how can it be YOUR favorite, when it's mine?  
  
Kurama - where ARE you guys?  
  
Hiei - follow the radar, stupid kitsune.  
  
Kurama - (shoots him angry look)  
  
Hiei - (runs right through the explosions unharmed and murders ~Black Dragon~ with his KF7 Soviet)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - IIE!!!  
  
Hiei - hai!!  
  
Kurama - Hiei's winning.  
  
Hiei - that's right I am! Now where are YOU, kitsune?  
  
Kurama - iie!! Hiei! Spare me!!  
  
Hiei - NEVER!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (came back to life and started to plot revenge)  
  
Hiei - (runs out in front of Kurama from around the corner)  
  
Kurama - (shrieks like a girl) Hiei!! SPARE ME!  
  
Hiei - DIE KITSUNE!! (Kurama's Silenced PP7 is no match for Hiei's KF7)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - hey you guys. maybe we SHOULD play Perfect Dark. They have the better guns on that game.  
  
Kurama - like what?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - like my favorite, the RCP120.  
  
Hiei - or the Superdragon.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - or the Reaper!  
  
Hiei - yeaaah. the Reaper.  
  
(Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ list a few more of their favorite guns)  
  
Kurama - ..... It scares me that you know that.  
  
Hiei - (smiles evilly) where are you, Natalya?  
  
Kurama - oh, shut up! I didn't WANT to be Natalya!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - HAI! Proximity mines!!!!!  
  
Hiei - so? I have my trusty KF7!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (pushes A) (her KF7 Soviet with fully loaded ammo pops up in her screen)  
  
Hiei - iie!!!!! You will PAY!  
  
Kurama - ooh, I found a bigger gun. (a KF7 pops up in his screen too)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (runs up behind Kurama's character and kills him. and is about to take his guns wheeen..)  
  
Hiei - (appears in front of her) don't...touch...the gun..  
  
~Black Dragon~ - don't you dare..  
  
Hiei - I'll do it!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (reloads her gun) not if I do it first!  
  
Hiei - how would you like to-  
  
~Black Dragon~ form an alliance?  
  
Hiei - precisely.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I'll take this end. you take that end. Got it?  
  
Hiei - (nods)  
  
Kurama - no fair!!  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - (execute "Plan A")  
  
Two minutes later.  
  
Kurama - (shrieks like a girl) (his screen explodes and red covers it)  
  
Hiei - hai!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - who's mine got him?  
  
All wait in silent anticipation.  
  
Hiei - HAI! It was mine! ("Killed Natalya" pops up in Hiei's screen)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - good job! (high five's Hiei)  
  
At the end of the round.  
  
Hiei - HAI! I won!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - barely.  
  
Kurama - I got "Shortest Innings" and "Lemming Award."  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I got "Most Deadly" and "Where's the armor?" feh! Who needs armor?  
  
Hiei - I got "Most Deadly" and "Longest Innings."  
  
~Black Dragon~ - well, my weapon of choice was "KF7 Sovitet!"  
  
Hiei - so was mine. So there.  
  
Kurama - . I got "unarmed."  
  
~Black Dragon~ - let's play Grid on Perfect Dark now!!  
  
Hiei - hai!!!  
  
Kurama - iie.. You guys kill at these games.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - your point?  
  
Kurama - so. let's play something I'M good at.  
  
Hiei - what ARE you good at?  
  
Kurama - I don't know. anything but these.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - feh. All for Perfect Dark. say "I"  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - I  
  
Kurama - (shoots them evil looks)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - weeeeeell, consider this your practice.  
  
Kurama - fine. I'll come back and kill you both!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - well that's the spirit! Even though you have no chance in-  
  
Hiei - we'll kick your-  
  
Kurama - okay okay!! Just put it in!!  
  
Hiei - no arguing this time. We're playing Grid. I'll set the guns.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - I can do it, I memorized my Favorite Guns list. but I also have it saved on here.  
  
Hiei - this one? (one labeled "~Black Dragon~'s Murdering List")  
  
~Black Dragon~ - that's the one!  
  
Kurama - (sigh) how did THAT get on here?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - easy. I put it there.  
  
Kurama - (sighs again)  
  
Hiei - ooh! These are great!  
  
~Black Dragon~'s Murdering List contains Superdragon, RCP120, and other guns they like.  
  
Kurama - I'm doomed.  
  
Hiei - hai. you are.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - admitting is the first step.  
  
Kurama - what's the second step.?  
  
Hiei - you die, how's that?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - works for me.  
  
Kurama - (sigh) just start the game already!  
  
Four minutes later.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (running around the level with her RCP120) you can't get me! I have my favorite gun and I'm on a killing spree now!!  
  
Hiei - oh yeah? (holds up the Superdragon) mine's almost as good as yours.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - yeah, right! I've played the game, Hiei!! The Superdragon is nowhere NEAR as good as the RCP120!  
  
Hiei - (censored. remember the G rating, Hiei!)  
  
Kurama - I have the CMPISO. What's that?  
  
~Black Dragon~ and Hiei - that gun sucks.  
  
Kurama - .oh.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (runs up behind Kurama and kills him)  
  
Hiei - I'll get you, you just wait.  
  
Four minutes later.  
  
Hiei - ha! I got you now!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - never!! ("kills" Hiei's character with her RCP120)  
  
Hiei - iie!!!!!!  
  
At the end of this round.  
  
Kurama - I lost again.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - HAI! I finally beat Hiei at Perfect Dark!!  
  
Hiei - Hn. Beginner's luck.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - but Hiei, it isn't beginner's luck. I'm just a lucky fool.  
  
Kurama - (laughs)  
  
Im sleepy and tired of typing. Send me in ideas, if not.. Hey who cares. I have a million of 'em.  
  
Shippou - (yaaawn)  
  
Shippou?! You're awake?!! Go to sleep!!  
  
Shippou - I'm thirsty.  
  
Go get water, then sleep. It's past your bedtime.  
  
Shippou - o-kaaay.  
  
That kitsune. if he weren't so kawaii I'd hurt him. But he's just so KAWAII! Lol  
  
(FYI. Inuyasha isn't mine either, and no, I'm not adding them to this fic. well maybe later, chapter four hundred or so. if I feel like it)  
  
Miroku - what are you TALKING about?  
  
SQUEE! (hugs Miroku)  
  
Miroku - ummmm.. Hi?  
  
Oh, I was just saying that you don't have to be in this one.  
  
Inuyasha - and why not?  
  
Feel honored. Look at what happened to Yusuke and Kuwabara.  
  
Miroku - (reads it and laughs)  
  
See people?! My stuff is FUNNY! Miroku says so! (hugs Miroku)  
  
Miroku - did you eat too much sugar again?  
  
Maaaaaaybe...  
  
Miroku - (falls down)  
  
Flames and Torches to you all,  
  
~Black Dragon~  
  
(and for the fun of it. you don't get any water this chapter. If you give me many many reviews. then I'll be nice and put them up for sale again.) 


	6. An ending! yaay! Black Dragon's made of ...

CHAPTER 6 - I just like the video game idea. So I shall keep it up! YAY! This really has nothing to do with elevators anymore. (or does it?!) DISCLAIMER - I don't own it. I might, someday. But no, not right now. (cries) Hiei - (pat pat) its okay. Hiei-sama?! What the-?! Hiei - they paid me to say that. Oh.  
  
ON WITH THE FIC!  
  
Kurama - what now?  
  
Hiei - whatever. I don't care.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - whatever Hiei wants to do.  
  
Kurama - what about me?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what ABOUT you?  
  
Kurama - (sigh) nothing.  
  
Hiei - I have an idea.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - so do I!  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ simultaneously - SWEET SNOW!  
  
Kurama - no way, nu-uh, I'm not taking you two ANYWHERE in the Ningenkai. EVER AGAIN.  
  
Hiei - now.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - or else.  
  
Kurama - NO!  
  
Hiei - YES!  
  
Kurama - NO!  
  
Hiei - YES!  
  
Kurama - NO!  
  
Hiei - YES!  
  
Kurama - NO!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - YES!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kurama - ....... I hate you.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - awww, Kurama-sama, you don't REALLY hate me, do you?  
  
Kurama - (sigh) no..  
  
Hiei - sweet snow. NOW.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (runs out the door)  
  
AT THE ICE CREAM PLACE  
  
Hiei - more than THAT, Kurama!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - what are you THINKING?  
  
Kurama - (rolls eyes) that's as big as it gets. You can have more later.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - it all depends on when "later" is.  
  
Kurama - (sigh) as soon as you want it.  
  
Hiei - now. (has finished his)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - me too. (has also finished hers)  
  
Kurama - (supplies them with multiple ice creams)  
  
Hiei - good. You can do what you want to. I'll stay and eat this.  
  
Kurama - I'm not leaving you two unsupervised in a public place, Hiei.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - yes you are.  
  
Kurama - but, why?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - because I said so.  
  
Kurama - oh. Okay..  
  
Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ - (wait for Kurama to leave, which he does)  
  
Hiei - come on. Let's go.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - sounds like a plan!  
  
Kurama - (back at his house) I never should have left them..  
  
SOMEWHERE ELSE  
  
Hiei - what do you want to do?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - lets go terrorize the ningens! (a bush bursts into flames, people run away screaming)  
  
Hiei - (laughs) works for me.  
  
AND SO - for two hours or so, Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ run around the town and set things on fire. And scare people with their fire-demonness and their flames and torches and katanas and what-not.  
  
Kurama - (searching frantically for them)  
  
Hiei - that was fun.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - Hiei?  
  
Hiei - hai?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - lets go back to Kurama's and play Perfect Dark again.  
  
AND so they do.  
  
AT THE MENTAL INSTITUTION -  
  
Yusuke - dolphin-bad?  
  
Random Worker - yes Yusuke!! Good!  
  
Kuwabara - kitty-good?  
  
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!  
  
Random Worker - no!! bad Kuwabara!!  
  
Kuwabara - (screams in agony) (A/N - he was electrocuted. See the zzzt?)  
  
Yusuke - (is scared) dolphins bad, dolphins bad, dolphins bad..  
  
Kuwabara - I miss my Eikichi. When can I go home?  
  
Random Worker - OHMYGOD he said something UNDERSTANDABLE!! He's sane.  
  
Kuwabara - yaaaaay!  
  
Random Worker - one more, for old time's sake.  
  
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!!  
  
Kuwabara - (screams in agony)  
  
Yusuke - DOLPHIN BAD!! DOLPHIN BAD!!!  
  
Random Worker - sure Yusuke, sure (has fun ZZT-ing Kuwabara some more)  
  
Kuwabara - (walks home, extra crispy)  
  
Yusuke - all right, that's it. I'm not doing this anymore.  
  
Random Worker - huh?! That's not in the script.. (flips through his script)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (has a microphone) Yusuke!!! What are you DOING?!  
  
Yusuke - I quit. Its not worth it. Give me my paycheck for what I've already done and let me get outta here. Me and Keiko are going to the movies.  
  
Keiko - (walks onto the set) YUSUKE!! You get back in there and keep acting!!  
  
Yusuke - you-you don't want to go to the movies?  
  
Keiko - of course I do, Yusuke. But how will we ever make it anywhere if you don't have any MONEY?!  
  
Yusuke - I can get a job.  
  
All - (burst out laughing)  
  
Yusuke - shut up!  
  
Hiei - (walks onto the set) how are WE gonna finish and get paid if YOU quit?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - you tell 'em, Hiei!  
  
Kurama - come on, Yusuke! Look at what I had to endure!!! (pointing to his script)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (laughs) gomen nasai, Kurama-san. I had to do it.  
  
Kurama - (rolls eyes) suuuuure you did.  
  
Kuwabara - (returns to the set with Eikichi in his hand) Urumeshi! What are you DOING?!  
  
Yusuke - I'm quitting. I refuse to be electrocuted.  
  
Kuwabara - but I had to get electrocuted first, you didn't even GO yet!  
  
Yusuke - because I'm not an idiot.  
  
Random Worker - (pushes a button)  
  
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!  
  
Yusuke - (screams in agony)  
  
Random Worker - she made me do it. I got paid for that part, right?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - five bucks.  
  
Random Worker - FIVE?! That's not even enough for a bucket of water!!  
  
~Black Dragon~ - ten bucks to whoever can make Yusuke scream like a girl!!  
  
(Yusuke bursts into flames)  
  
Yusuke - (screams in horror like a girl)  
  
Hiei - I did that.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - lair!! I did that!  
  
Hiei - (throws her a death glare, and a look, it's a shut-up-and-give-me- the-ten-bucks-and-no-one-will-ever-know look)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (hands him ten dollars) (throws him an I-was-gonna-give-it- to-you-anyway look)  
  
Hiei - arigato.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (grins evilly) thirty to whoever shaves Kurama's head.  
  
Kurama - (shrieks like girl) (runs for dear life)  
  
All - (pull razors out of nowhere)  
  
BZZZZZZZ!!  
  
Kurama - (shrieks like a girl again) (runs for his miserable life) (A/N - look! I quoted off one of my reviewers!!!! Yes, I AM stupid, aren't I?)  
  
Hiei - (easily catches him) (shaves Kurama's head)  
  
Kurama - (shrieks) (passes out)  
  
Hiei - my money?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - of course (pays him).  
  
Hiei - domo.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - welcome. NOW... I have tortured Kurama enough, ne? twenty to whoever can-  
  
Hiei - kill Kuwabara.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - precisely.  
  
Kuwabara - (shrieks like girl) (A/N - what is it with these guys and shrieking like girls?)  
  
Kuwabara bursts into flames.  
  
~Black Dragon~ - Hiei did it that time.  
  
Hiei - O_o (thinking - I didn't do that..?)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - (hands him the money anyway)  
  
Hiei - (confused, yet paid, so the world is A-OK)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - NOW, thirty bucks to whoever has a clever plan on ending this fic!  
  
Hiei - I know! (he must REALLY want that money, or else I'm playing him OOC..)  
  
~Black Dragon~ - nani?  
  
Hiei - sweet snow?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - you know it!  
  
AND SO, Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ went out for ice cream and then they set the place on fire because it wasn't enough sweet snow for Hiei. Kurama was bald, and Kuwabara is still, to this day, running around in circles, shrieking like a girl. Yusuke moved into the mental institution, and Eikichi is the normallest of all, she lives in a tree. Hiei and ~Black Dragon~ moved to the Makai and took it over, and got married. OWARI.  
Well now! How'dja like that?! Good ending? NO? I don't care. I wanted to end it, and so I did. Thanks to all my reviewers, for giving me ideas, and YES, I know the Kurama head-shaving bit was used in "Purple High" (read it, its good) but I had this idea for awhile, so don't hurt me! It isn't plagirism if I already had it, is it? If not, consider this a sincere apology to the author of Purple High, and I didn't mean to steal the idea (even though I DIDN'T)  
  
Flames and Torches, ~Black Dragon~  
  
PS - water and the complimentary bucket is 30 dollars, yay! 


	7. Aah, the Good old days!

I'm feeling especially happy today!! So I'll update THIS FIC because it seems to be the best one of mine. . . that people liked. . . so yay!  
  
DISCLAIMER: why do you keep asking?! I told you - I Don't OWN YU YU HAKUSHO!  
  
~*~*~*~*~* SCREW THE MARRIAGE IDEA! We're back at the studio!  
  
Cameraman - can we start rolling?  
  
~Black Dragon~ - shoot! . . . err, I mean. . . ACTION!  
  
Yusuke - I DON'T WANNA!  
  
Hiei - *death glares*  
  
Yusuke - *cringes in fear*  
  
~Black Dragon~ - HURRY UP YOU!  
  
Yusuke - okay okay!  
  
Black Dragon - thank you- HEY! What happened to my ~ thingies?!  
  
VOICE FROM SKY - You don't get them anymore! Ha! Ha ha!  
  
Black Dragon - why, oh holy voice from sky?!  
  
VOICE FROM SKY - it's VOICE FROM SKY, not "voice from sky," stupid!!  
  
Black Dragon - why, oh holy VOICE FROM SKY?!  
  
VOICE FROM SKY - it's your punishment for not updating this!  
  
Black Dragon - oh. Carry on, Yusuke!  
  
Yusuke - Keiko, I love you!! *pause* what is this crap?! These are the sappiest lines EVER!  
  
Keiko - yes, they are. . .  
  
Black Dragon - let me see that! *snatches copy of the script* WHAT?! This is stupid!  
  
Script - *spontaneously combusts*  
  
Minna - O.o  
  
Black Dragon - here! the new script!  
  
New Script - *is inanimate - does not speak*  
  
Hiei - *reading script* Hn.  
  
Keiko - *rolls eyes* wow, that's creative. . .  
  
Black Dragon - *screams through megaphone* READ YOUR LINES!  
  
Yusuke - *staring at wall*  
  
Black Dragon - Yusuke. . .  
  
Yusuke - *staring at wall*  
  
Black Dragon - YUSUKE!  
  
Yusuke - *staring at wall*  
  
Black Dragon - YUSUKE PAY ATTENTION!  
  
Yusuke - . . . what?  
  
Black Dragon - *frustrated mark* read. . . your . . . lines.  
  
Yusuke - OKAY! *reading script* Keiko, do you want to go to the movies or something later?  
  
Keiko - *reading script* okay!  
  
Hiei - . . . that's all the script there is. . .?  
  
Black Dragon - I didn't feel like making any more, so sue me!  
  
Hiei - *sues*  
  
Black Dragon - HIEI!!!  
  
Hiei - what?  
  
Black Dragon - DON'T SUE ME YOU DUNCE!  
  
Hiei - . . . dunce? O.o  
  
Yusuke - it's like idiot.  
  
Black Dragon - yeah, you would know!  
  
Keiko - you TOLD him to sue you, remember?  
  
Black Dragon - oh yeah!! Well, then sue, I don't care. Lets get ice cream!  
  
Hiei - sweet snow?  
  
Yusuke - -_-;;;  
  
Kurama - hi guys! ^^  
  
Minna - hi, Kurama-kun!  
  
Kurama - what's up?  
  
Yusuke - Black Dragon gave us more stupid lines to do and now they want ice cream.  
  
Hiei/Black Dragon - sweet snow!  
  
Kuwabara - hi, guys!  
  
*crickets chirping*  
  
Kuwabara - *spontaneously combusts*  
  
Black Dragon - IDEA!!!!!!!  
  
Minna - O.o  
  
Black Dragon - *snaps fingers*  
  
~*~*~ INSIDE RANDOM ELEVATOR ~*~*~*~  
  
Yusuke - *looks around* another elevator?  
  
Minna - *nod*  
  
Yusuke - DAMN! *makes dents in the wall*  
  
Kurama - oh dear God. . .  
  
Large Woman - *gets on elevator*  
  
Minna - O.o  
  
Large woman - hello! I'm a large woman! ^^  
  
Minna - O.O  
  
Kurama - by my calculations. . . . *does calculations in his head*  
  
Minna - *watch him do his calculations and what-not*  
  
Kurama - HOLY SHIT!  
  
Minna - O.O OMG! Kurama said a potty word!  
  
Kurama - WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!  
  
Large Woman - and I'm a Large Woman!  
  
Minna - O.o okaaaaaaaaay. . . WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIE!  
  
Hiei - Kurama. . . can I ask why we're all going to die?  
  
Kurama - *points at Large Woman*  
  
Elevator Cable - *SNAP*  
  
Elevator - *FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLING*  
  
Minna - *shriek* we're all gonna die!  
  
Fat Woman - *spontaneously combust* O.O *gasp* I have spontaneously combusted?! NOOOOO!  
  
Hiei - had to do it . . .  
  
Fat Woman - *fat suit melts off*  
  
Minna - *GASP!!!*  
  
Black Dragon - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Mukuro - oh, darn! My fat-suit!  
  
Minna - O.O  
  
Kurama - if you're not really fat, how did the cable break?  
  
Mukuro - I cut it, silly!  
  
Kurama - O.O  
  
Elevator - *FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLING*  
  
Black Dragon - *snaps fingers*  
  
Minna - *magically transported to. . . big green field*  
  
Kuwabara - *appears in elevator* EIKICHI?! Where did you go?!  
  
Elevator - *CRASH!*  
  
~*~*~ RANDOM GREEN FIELD ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mukuro - why are we in a green field?  
  
Black Dragon - *sets Mukuro on fire*  
  
Mukuro - aaah! I'm on fire!  
  
Yusuke - go figure.  
  
Kurama - *holds up marshmallows*  
  
Black Dragon - hey, thanks! MARSHMALLOWS!  
  
Yusuke - reminds me of the good ole' days, when we went to sea world. . .  
  
Hiei - Yup.  
  
Minna - *eating marshmallows*  
  
Mukuro - *is reduced to pile of UGLY ashes*  
  
Black Dragon - lets go ride an elevator! *snaps*  
  
Minna - NOOOOOOOO- *are transported*  
  
~*~*~*~ RANDOM LITTER BOX ~*~*~*~*  
  
minna - O.O  
  
Yusuke - how the hell did we get into this litter box?! And how do we all fit?!  
  
Black Dragon - good question!  
  
Minna - -_-;;;;  
  
Black Dragon - *snaps again*  
  
~*~*~*~ RANDOM ELEVATOR ~*~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
AND SO WE LEAVE OUR *ahem* HEROES. . .  
  
Yes, cliffy. REVIEW ME OR ELSE! MUAHAHA  
  
Just so's you know, it's 2:17 in the morning. . . AND I HAVE SUGAR!  
  
The world is unsafe!  
  
Flames and Torches,  
  
~Black Dragon~ 


	8. The Randomest Randomness i've ever seen!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Not ANYTHING. YYH, Crocodile Hunter/Steve Irwin, Rurouni Kenshin, Reel Big Fish, or any other random things! Don't worry! It'll all make sense later!  
  
In response to a reviewer's question, I was up at 2 in the morning because I went to the-jokes.com and scared the CRAP outta myself with the "say it" and the "something wrong." And I got sugar all by my widdle self!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yusuke - we're in an elevator.  
  
Hiei - Hn.  
  
Kurama - it appears that way, yes.  
  
Black Dragon - yep!  
  
All - * glare at Black Dragon *  
  
Black Dragon - aah!  
  
Hiei - can we leave the elevator?  
  
Black Dragon - no.  
  
Kurama - why?  
  
Black Dragon - no.  
  
Yusuke - YES!  
  
Black Dragon - * bonks him with the Frying Pan of Doom *  
  
Yusuke - ow!  
  
Elevator Door opens.  
  
Minna - O.o  
  
Old Fat Blind Seal - ork ork!  
  
Yusuke - DIE SEAL! * pokes the seal's eye out with a dolphin figurine *  
  
Old Fat Blind Seal - o_x  
  
Kurama - EWW! You defaced the seal!  
  
Hiei - . . . cool.  
  
Black Dragon - WHA-? Hiei just said "cool!"  
  
Hiei - so?  
  
Black Dragon - . . . . . . . cool.  
  
Hiei - . why me?  
  
Kurama - we shall never fall! The glory of the beholder is within our bodies! We shall be FREEEEEEEE!  
  
Minna - O.o  
  
Kurama - uhhh, sorry. Random moment.  
  
Yusuke - riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  
  
Kurama - ^_^;;  
  
Elevator door opens.  
  
Minna - * escape *  
  
~*~*~* RANDOM SEWER  
  
Yusuke - * screams like girl * WE'RE IN A SEWER!  
  
Kurama - DUH!  
  
Hiei - * snort, snicker, laugh *  
  
Kurama - what's so funny?  
  
Hiei - did you just say, "DUH!"?  
  
Kurama - . . . yes?  
  
Yusuke - KURAMA! You sound preppy!  
  
Kurama - O.o  
  
Yusuke - a preppy GIRL!  
  
Kurama - NOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Hiei - * nods solemnly *  
  
Black Dragon - whatever you do, Kurama, just don't take birth control pills and run around naked. (A/N: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG story)  
  
Kurama - O.O  
  
Hiei - O.O  
  
Yusuke - BWAHAHAHAHA! I'd pay to see that!!  
  
Black Dragon - you sick, sick freak!  
  
Yusuke - * bows * thank you!  
  
Crocodile - GRR! (or whatever. . . yeah)  
  
Yusuke - EEP! Sewer creature!  
  
Kurama - actually, you're both wrong.  
  
Crocodile and Yusuke - O.o  
  
Kurama - that's an alligator.  
  
Croco- err, ALLIGATOR - GRR!!  
  
Yusuke - EEP! Alligator!  
  
Kurama - thank you. ^_^  
  
Hiei - o.O  
  
Black Dragon - OH MY GOD! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!  
  
Crocodile Hunter - why sure, me mate!  
  
Hiei - O.O I will never understand humans . . .  
  
Alligator - O.O  
  
Steve Irwin - ahoy, me mates! I'm gonna rescue this here croco-  
  
Kurama - ALLIGATOR!  
  
Steve Irwin - err, alligator - from dying!  
  
Hiei - it looks okay to me . . .  
  
Steve Irwin - oh, trust me, little bloke. E's dyin' all right.  
  
Hiei - * left eye twitch * little . . . bloke. . .?  
  
Black Dragon - just go with it.  
  
Hiei - * twitch *  
  
Alligator - * is taken out of the sewer and relocated in a sewer in Bosnia *  
  
Yusuke - well, that was different.  
  
Kurama - ALLIGATOR!  
  
Black Dragon - it's gone, Kurama. Its okay.  
  
Kurama - oh. Okay.  
  
Hiei - -_-;; I'm surrounded.  
  
Random Voice - that you are!  
  
Black Dragon - KENSHIN THING! Do it again!  
  
Random Voice - THAT I SHALL!  
  
Black Dragon - YAY!  
  
Kurama - uhh, right.  
  
Yusuke - aah! VOICES!  
  
Random Voice - * sings a song *  
  
Everybody's doin' the fish! Yea yea yea! Everybody's doin' the fish! Yea yea yea! Everybody's-  
  
Yusuke - SHUT UP!  
  
Hiei - * thrusts katana at Kenshin *  
  
Kenshin - EEP!  
  
Black Dragon - HEY! Dare you interrupt him? DARE YOU INSULT HIS SUPER- HOTNESS?!  
  
Kenshin - O.o  
  
Hiei - uhh, pass?  
  
Black Dragon - that works!  
  
Kenshin - * sings randomly *  
  
Minna - O.O  
  
Black Dragon - * snaps fingers *  
  
~*~*~*~ RANDOM LITTERBOX  
  
Yusuke - oh, hell! WE'RE HERE AGAIN!  
  
Hiei - how do we all fit?  
  
Black Dragon - I dunno. . .  
  
Kurama - PHYSICS, my friends! Its simple physics! * babbles on *  
  
Black Dragon - * slaps him * SHUT UP!  
  
Kurama - aww, okay. . .  
  
Black Dragon - * snap *  
  
~*~*~*~* RANDOM PLACE IN MAKAI * cough cough Mukuro's cough *  
  
Mukuro - HIEI? You have come back to me!  
  
Hiei - uhh, no?  
  
Mukuro - WHAT?!  
  
Black Dragon - it was a random thing, yeah.  
  
Kurama - PHYSICS!  
  
Mukuro - oh no! its you! Yomi's heir! KILL IT! * throws a rock at him *  
  
Black Dragon - WHOA WHOA WHOA, time out. Only I can throw rocks.  
  
Minna - YEAH!  
  
Mukuro - kay! * Throws . . . a cheese *  
  
Kurama - mmm! Dairy!  
  
Mukuro - curses! Foiled again!!  
  
Hiei - again?  
  
Mukuro - sure, why not?  
  
Yusuke - I guess so.  
  
Black Dragon - who's up for going and doing more random things?!  
  
Yusuke - dolphins?!  
  
Kurama - * sigh * go for it.  
  
Yusuke - YAY!  
  
Hiei - . . . whatever.  
  
Black Dragon - RANDOMNESS!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I gave in to the randomness. . . its utterly random now. So random, in fact, that I would go so far as to label this a "RANDOM FIC"  
  
Just review me. I got bored and was random. I'd like to see how that goes over with you guys, the readers.  
  
Flames and Torches,  
  
~Black Dragon~ 


End file.
